The Top Ten Guide for Separated Parents During Covid 19

Many families have found the global pandemic as particularly stressful. Both parents and children are very anxious about the situation at this time. Parents are facing the stress of money and health worries in the pandemic, as well as the normal stresses and pressures that arise from raising children generally. The Family Law Section of the Law Council of Australia have prepared a list of “The Top Ten Guide for Separated Parents During Covid 19” and we thought we would like to share a summary of their list with you:

1. Stay Healthy
   Model best practice habits for the children to minimise the risk of spread of the virus, including frequent and thorough handwashing and social distancing. Let the other parent know what you are doing in your household so you can both show the other that you are taking the virus seriously and you are both on the same page.
   
2. Be present and considered
   This is a serious health challenge. Children would have heard and read a great deal about the Virus through friends and their school networks and media. Be present in their lives. Be present to help them accurately process the information in a way that allows for peace of mind.
   
3. Meet your obligations
   If your parenting arrangements are regulated by a Court Order or agreement, you must still meet the terms of that Order or agreement unless you have a reasonable excuse. If there are practical reasons for problems because of the pandemic, then find solutions with the other parent, give the other parent notice.
   
4. Adapt
   As things change in society, with closing of the schools or remote learning, cancelling of weekend sports or restrictions on travel, adapt to the changes. Find other ways of doing things to ensure your children’s needs are still being met. If restrictions stop physical movement or contact, think of other ways to communicate through digital communication, Skype, zoom, Facetime.
   
5. Be Open
   Parents need to be open and honest with each other about their and their children’s health and risk of exposure during the pandemic. If either the children or someone they are in close contact with becomes unwell or develops symptoms, the parent should immediately advise the other parent so as to ensure that both parents are aware. You need to ensure that your child has any testing or self-isolation that is recommended. Being open and honest with the other parent will alleviate their concerns and/ or worries and will help stop the spread of the virus.
   
6. Be Mutual
   Think about how you would like the other parent to engage with you, and model that type of engagement with them. All parents will benefit from mutual give and take at this time.
   
7. Be compassionate
   It is difficult to know how to respond in this difficult time, and sometimes the other parent’s response to a situation may seem disproportionate to your view. This a time to try to be calm in situations of high stress. You are more likely to reduce conflict if you are calm and compassionate to the other person.
   
8. Be solution focused
   This is a time, more than ever, where parents and adults need to try and compromise for the sake of the children. There is likely to be less availability for courts and Mediation services to make decisions about everyday parenting matters. It is far better for the children if their parents can both come to common sense solutions, without the need to revert to litigation.
   
9. Help out to the extent you can
   Parents may lose jobs or experience a reduced income. This will likely impact on both households. Parents need to be understanding of the other parent’s financial position and offer to help out where they can.
   
10. Be Patient and Positive
    The pandemic isn’t going to end overnight – Changes to the way we work, socialise and communicate and parent our children will come in over the next few weeks and months. Be patient and positive and make a conscious effort to embrace the good and joyful moments in each day.
    
    For any concerns relating to your Family Law and parenting matters during COVID 19 please contact the team at Solari and Stock Miranda on 8525 2700.
    
    For a full copy of the original ‘Family Law Section’s Top Ten list’, see the attached link https://www.familylawsection.org.au/images//documents/online-news/FLS_Ten-tips-for-managing-parenting-in-a-pandemic_20200319.pdf
    For more helpful links and advice about managing the stress and anxiety that arises from the Coronavirus see the following link:
    Coronavirus (COVID-19): managing stress and anxiety (unimelb.edu.au)
    

The following link is a useful guide about improving mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic.

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