How to achieve a Family Law Property Settlement with a “Narcissist”

Is your spouse a narcissist?  Is your spouse a bully?  Do they have the following traits:-

• Wants to control you and any situation?
• Needs to be right?
• Always wants to be seen as the good guy?
• Is quick to criticise when you don’t meet expectations?
• Lacks the ability to feel remorse?
• Pretends to be loving or caring – but is actually manipulating?
• Is emotionally distant?
• Believes it’s always someone else’s fault?
• Is unforgiving and resentful?
• Is not interested in compromising- it is their way or the highway!

Bullying is characterised by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. This is often a problem in marriage or relationship breakdown situations.  Narcissism is a recognised psychiatric personality disorder and there are many bullies who could be classified as narcissists. 

Common things we see from the narcissist spouse at separation are:-

• Threats to take/keep the children from you.
• Manipulating the children into feeling sorry for them/angry at you.
• Threats to ruin you financially, including threats to use the legal system against you.
• Hiding financial information from you.
• Deliberately running down the family home/family business.
• Persistent, petty little niggles, refusing to help pay for a phone bill, going back on their agreement for your child to go to dance class or soccer practice that is now ‘on their time’.

Trying to achieve a family law property settlement is difficult at the best of times- even when dealing with well-adjusted people, as marriage breakdown is very stressful.  If you are dealing with a narcissist, then many spouses simply give up the fight in order to get out of the relationship and get some peace. Whilst this reaction is understandable, as the stress may have been ongoing for years, it may end up with you receiving far less than your entitled to in a financial settlement.

If you find yourself in this position, some tips to prepare to separate from a narcissist are as follows:-

1. Take care of yourself and put yourself first. Whether it’s journaling, spoiling yourself, meditation, therapy, or something else, make taking care of yourself your number one priority.
2. Make sure that you have a support network on standby including family, friends, and external support services.
3. Attempt to shield and protect your children from as much conflict as possible.
4. Keep good records such as a diary as to what has been happening in the home.
5. Focus on the bigger picture and keep the end goal in mind.

We have many years of experience in dealing with bullies and we know how to use the family law process to best advantage so as to be able to achieve a fair settlement on your behalf, whilst doing our best to protect you emotionally.  We know that your separation and a property settlement dispute is as much an emotional issue as it is a financial issue.  We approach it in a supportive way and preserve your sanity by being the interface when it comes to dealing with the difficult decisions to be made.

If your case needs to be decided in the Family Law Courts, contact one of our experienced Family Law Solicitors to discuss a cost-effective and fair result.  Contact us on 8525 2700 or click here to request an appointment.

Article written by Nikita Ward
Photo by Sammy Williams on Unsplash