A Tip for Separated Parents

The July School holidays are fast approaching, so get your arrangements sorted now

• Plan your Care Arrangements for the School Holidays well in advance – If you have not already worked out when your children are going to be spending time with you over the school holidays this will need to be sorted out ASAP.  The sooner you have this arranged the better.  
  
• Check your Court Orders or Parenting Plan – Look to see what your court orders or Parenting Plan say (if you have Court Orders or a Parenting Plan) about where the children will be during the school holidays.  There is nothing worse than leaving it to the last minute and having arguments about what is happening during the school holidays right before it!   It creates unnecessary stress and conflict for the kids.  If you are not clear what your orders say, you can always contact your lawyer first and double check with them, otherwise contact your ex-partner and see if they agree to your interpretation of the Orders.
  
• Send a Calendar – If you’re the more organised person (out of the two of you) it might be an idea for you to send the other parent a draft calendar which clearly marks out the days of when the children are in your care, and the days that the children are in the other parent’s care and ASK them what they think about your proposal and whether they agree to your proposal.  Avoid sending a bossy email that tells them “You will be doing this”.  No one likes to be lectured and all it does is aggravate the situation.   

• Communicate with your Ex Partner – Open a dialogue with your ex-partner about school holidays – It is important for issues about parenting arrangements for children are discussed between the parents and not through the children.  Involving your children in your dispute only add to your children’s stress.  The children should not be made to feel like the ‘meat in the sandwich’ or ‘the Mediator’ between their parents.  If you can’t talk to the other parent, see if you can use a third person, but don’t use your children to communicate your care arrangements. 

• Never ‘copy; or ‘blind copy’ your children into email communications between you and your ex-partner– your children need to be protected from their parents’ conflict and not invited to be directly involved in it.  It is quite surprising that some people still think that this is reasonable to copy their children (at any age) in their correspondence with the other parent.  All it does, is cause the children to be upset and reminded of the conflict.  Such conduct is frowned down upon by the Courts.

• Enjoy the School Holidays with your children– Plan fun things to do with your children during the school holidays – regardless of their age and regardless as to whether they want you to or not!  It shows your children that you care, and you want to spend time with them – even it is as simple as a dinner or a movie.  If you have to work whilst you have the children during the holidays– plan fun things for them to do when they are being minded or in vacation care; or plan enjoyable things to do with them on the weekends or when you are not working.   When you have the time give them your uninterrupted time.   It’s often the quality and not necessarily the quantity.

• Finally –Don’t forget to check your child’s lunch bag on the Friday of the last day of school and throw out all unfinished fruit and food-scraps.  You don’t want any surprises in their lunch box after 17 days of school holidays!

If you need assistance with trying to plan ahead for the school holidays, whether about trying to resolve your care arrangements for your children, understanding your school holiday orders, or having orders drafted, feel free to contact us on 8525 2700 or click here to request an appointment with one of our experienced Family Law Team.

Article written by Nicole Quirk
Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash