Ho Ho Ho wishing you a sharing Christmas

Tips for separated parents

Christmas is a time to be jolly and merry. It is a time when families come together and share the magic and create memories. It can also be a difficult time for children whose parents are separated. So many thoughts could be running through their mind, and they are likely to be feeling emotional and conflicted. It is given that both parents would want to spend time with their children during Christmas. Things can be made easier if the parents are willing to think about what is best for their children.

Here are some tips to ensure your Christmas is happy and merry:

1. Communicate with the other parent and find out each other’s plans for Christmas. Does either parent follow special traditions that you would like your children to be involved in? Try to start these discussions as early as possible. It is a special time and parties can become sensitive and emotional wanting their children to spend it with them. If you start the communication early, it will allow time for you to think clearly and for any disagreements to calm down.

2. Talk to your children. It is equally important that you talk to your children and find out what they want to do for Christmas. Do they have any specific wishes? Do they want to spend Christmas with one parent and Boxing Day with the other? Listen to what they have to say and try to find out why. Respect their wishes and let them know that whatever they decide, Santa will know where to drop the presents!

3. Be prepared to compromise. If you both want to spend Christmas Day with your children or if your children wants to spend Christmas Day with both of you, then it might help to share Christmas Day so that one parent spends time with the children from Christmas Eve to around midday or 1pm on Christmas Day and then the other parent spends time from midday or 1pm on Christmas Day until end of Boxing Day. If this is the case, consider the amount of travel that will be required – is it practical or will your children be spending too much time travelling? If the answer is yes, then a compromise may need to be made that involves one parent not spending time on Christmas Day. Work out an arrangement that suits everyone and that allows you all to enjoy the special day, but most importantly your children.

4. Stand United. Once an agreement has been reached, explain it to your children together in a positive way and let them know that you are both happy with the arrangement and make sure they are too. Try to make the transition between the households as smooth and happy as possible.

5. It is ok to feel emotional. As parents you want to ensure you put your children’s best interests first and foremost and you want the environment to be positive and cheerful. It is understandable that you might be lonely and sad after changeover. Make sure you have organised plans with family and friends and have plenty of things to do during the festive season. Try to keep yourself busy.

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Article by Shweta Kumar
Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Unsplash